Swati was a college student living happily with her family in their family home. All this changed when Swati met a young man, Vikas, and fell in love with him. Over time it became clear to both Swati and Vikas that they wished to build a life together and so they decided to marry. When Swati expressed this wish to her family, she discovered another side to her seemingly accepting family.
Swati’s family refused her request to marry and vehemently opposed the relationship continuing. In traditional Indian families, parents still believe they have the right to determine their children’s future. Vikas was not the future they envisaged for their daughter. During one heated argument, the violence became extreme and Swati was severely beaten by both her father and brother. From then she lived in fear that this violence would continue or escalate if she did not change her mind.
Swati’s family refused her request to marry and vehemently opposed the relationship continuing. In traditional Indian families, parents still believe they have the right to determine their children’s future. Vikas was not the future they envisaged for their daughter. During one heated argument, the violence became extreme and Swati was severely beaten by both her father and brother. From then she lived in fear that this violence would continue or escalate if she did not change her mind.
In Varanasi there are few alternatives for young women in Swati’s position – being exposed to violence in their family home. Tradition and family ties are strong here, and many of the limited facilities available still support the traditional values that underlie this familial conflict. Swati approached the Sai Maa Women’s Empowerment Centre for assistance. The counselor began by assisting Swati to address the trauma of the situation, including the physical violence. Initially Swati refused to talk. She was unwilling to consider seeking the support of her parents, instead wishing to elope with her boyfriend.
Through regular counseling Swati increased her personal confidence. With this increasing confidence decisions no longer based in avoidance and powerlessness became possible. She began to understand that a solution was possible that addressed the conflict and did not distance her from her family. At this point the Women’s Empowerment Center was able to facilitate meetings between Swati and the other members of her family, providing counseling and education on human rights and the legal rights of women in today’s society. With this understanding the family agreed to the marriage.
The final outcome was what Swati had initially wished for –with greater possibilities for the future too, as Swati legally married Vikas in court in the presence of her parents. By understanding her rights, she is developing the confidence to exercise her rights. Swati is now beginning a new confident and happy life, in partnership with her boyfriend and with the support of her family.
Through regular counseling Swati increased her personal confidence. With this increasing confidence decisions no longer based in avoidance and powerlessness became possible. She began to understand that a solution was possible that addressed the conflict and did not distance her from her family. At this point the Women’s Empowerment Center was able to facilitate meetings between Swati and the other members of her family, providing counseling and education on human rights and the legal rights of women in today’s society. With this understanding the family agreed to the marriage.
The final outcome was what Swati had initially wished for –with greater possibilities for the future too, as Swati legally married Vikas in court in the presence of her parents. By understanding her rights, she is developing the confidence to exercise her rights. Swati is now beginning a new confident and happy life, in partnership with her boyfriend and with the support of her family.
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